Sry I called you an 8
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
