At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
