Her vagina should come with caution tape.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
