so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
