forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
