Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
