I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
