his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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