bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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