didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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