Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
