Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
even my farts smell like vagina
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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