would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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