I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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