i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
