I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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