Need sex. Gaining weight.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
