Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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