yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
