somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
