I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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