i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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