The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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