ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
