A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Randomize
