..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
