this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
