Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
