did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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