That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
