sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
