Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
