I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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