In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
high people should be assigned attendants
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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