what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
