Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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