ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
