fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
