I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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