Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
