My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
