Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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