I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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