that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
