Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
