OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
