The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize