Buhtt sex?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
