You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
