Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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