those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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