Swine flu. Run for my life!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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