Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
