is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
