dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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