On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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