We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
