I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The adults are the big ones right?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
