i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
