is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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