have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
