Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
